Losing a child is one of the most devastating things that can happen to a person, and it comes in many forms - miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, etc. Even if you have never experienced a miscarriage or chemical pregnancy yourself, I can guarantee you personally know someone that does. I have heard statistics that 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, the vast majority before you would even realize you were pregnant. This is why many women who say they have never had a miscarriage probably have had one that they had no idea about.

In January of 2008 I had my very first IUI and was excited to be staring at my first BFP. I went to the RE with hope and optimism. But that pregnancy was not meant to be. My hCG levels did not double properly and eventually decreased and ended in miscarriage. Although I was pregnant for only a very short period of time, it still hurt. I was terrified I would never become pregnant again, that it was some kind of a fluke that I even got the positive test in the first place. It was a very dark place to be for several months as I kept getting BFN after BFN on all of my other IUIs. I kept telling myself about all the people I knew who had had miscarriages and went on to have healthy children. I kept telling myself that so many people who are dear to me would never have been born if their mothers hadn't had miscarriages before they were conceived. Then, of course, I became pregnant with the twins before my original due date had passed. This meant that had that first pregnancy been successful, I would not have my precious twinners. My sweet, gorgeous Chana with the red curls and my adorable Dovid with his captivating grin. With that pregnancy my hope was renewed, though I was constantly terrified of losing the pregnancy. That fear never goes away, no matter if you're 10 weeks or 38 weeks pregnant or have a newborn. You still fear that something will happen to your precious baby. The twins are now 3 1/2 and Tzipora is 1 1/2. Do you think I don't still check to see that they're breathing while they're sleeping? Of course I do! (Especially since Dovid likes to smother himself under the covers, but that's a different story entirely...) But that is part of being a mom...you always worry about your kids. I'm sure my mom worries about me, too. (Hi, Mom!) So, in honor of International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, give your child a hug. And if you are still on your journey to motherhood (or fatherhood), have experienced miscarriage or loss (or not), I give you a special hug, because I am crying right along with you.


Today, October 15th, is International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, a day of remembrance for pregnancy loss and infant death which includes miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or the death of a newborn. The National Institute of Health estimates that of the 4 million births a year in the United States, there are 26,000 stillbirths; meaning one in every 160 births results in a stillborn. These statistics can change significantly with your help!

After learning that Norway had dramatically reduced its still birth rates by conducting a public health campaign on kick counting, five Des Moines-area moms, who each lost babies to late-term stillbirth or infant death, launched a statewide public health campaign in Iowa called Count The Kicks in 2009. The campaign was developed to prevent late-term birth complications and stillbirths and urges parents to contact their health care providers immediately if they notice significant changes in their babies’ movements. Scientific studies indicate kickcounting, a daily record of a baby’s movements (kicks, rolls, punches, jabs) during the third trimester, is an easy, free and reliable way to monitor a baby’s well-being in addition to regular prenatal visits.

To learn more about how you can prevent the loss of more lives, join the Count the Kicks movement and spread kick awareness!

Click here for more information, videos, and a Count the Kicks downloadable poster.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the TV show Merlin, it centers around a young Merlin (Colin Morgan). This isn't the old man in a beard with a big pointy hat that we all consider "Merlin". This is a young man in his early twenties who is a bit bumbling to begin with but matures as the seasons progress. Early on Merlin meets a young Prince Arthur (Bradley James), but they do not hit it off immediately. In fact, they basically detest each other until Merlin saves Arthur's life and is appointed to be his personal servant. Throughout the series Merlin is constantly saving Arthur's royal backside...without Merlin, Arthur would not survive very long and most assuredly Albion, a united Britain, would never come to be.


I have taken the liberty of creating playlists on YouTube where you can easily watch each episode:
Season 1
Season 2
Season 3
Season 4
Season 5 (Just began this past week, so each new video will be added to this playlist as it becomes available)

I'm also embedding the first season's playlist right here so you can begin watching immediately.




My Take:
I absolutely love this show, but I do have favorite episodes, just like any other. I also get chills during every single episode without fail and tear up at most of them. I have also screamed at the TV numerous times during episodes. This is a show that it is very easy to get sucked into and never want to leave.

Season 1 

Episode 4 - The Poisoned Chalice
This episode nearly brought me to tears the very first time I watched it. I was on the edge of my seat for basically the entire episode, and it allowed Colin (who plays Merlin) to really show off his incredible acting skills. Excellent plot and delivery, and I hate Nimueh...just saying.

Episode 11 - The Labyrinth of Gedref
Arthur does something incredibly stupid at the beginning of this episode which causes havoc for Camelot. Somehow he needs to repair the damage, but it isn't easy. In the end the choice is between Merlin and Arthur...who will live and who will die to save Camelot?

Season 2 

Episode 1 - The Curse of Cornelius Sigan
This is such a great episode which tests Merlin's magic strength to its limit. He's facing a foe far above himself in magical power, and the safety of Camelot is, once again, in his hands. My absolute favorite line is in this episode.

Merlin: "Can't you see what he's trying to do? He's trying to get rid of me, and if you weren't such a clotpole you'd see that!"
Arthur: "A what?"
Cedric: "Clotpole...he said clotpole."

Episode 13 - The Last Dragonlord
I could watch this episode every single day and never tire of it. It is my all-time favorite episode, and I spend the whole thing quoting lines, giggling, crying and screaming at the tv. My kids love it, too, because of the dragon. (The dragon appears many times throughout the series, but he's in this episode quite a bit more than usual.) I feel so deeply for Merlin in this episode. Colin's acting is superb, and you can almost feel his emotions coming through the screen and into your own heart. It is just that good.

Season 3
It was incredibly difficult to just pick two episodes in this season. I could have easily mentioned 5 or 6 of them as my favorites.

Episode 8 - The Eye of the Phoenix
Arthur has to go on a quest...alone and unaided. HA! Yeah, right. Of course Merlin is going to tag along and bring Gwaine to help. And it's a good thing that he did, because the quest would fail without courage, strength and magic. But is it Arthur's quest at all? Or is it really Merlin's? In this episode we also get a cameo of a Harry Potter actor, Warwick Davis. He plays Grettir, the bridge keeper.
Season 4

Episode 4 - Aithusa
Any time Merlin interacts with a dragon I am all for it. His dragon voice is...sexy. But anyway, this is an exceptionally moving episode with a lot of danger, decisions and, well, dragons! And this gif I made of Merlin being beyond happy at the end of this episode could almost bring one to tears.

Episodes 12 & 13 - Sword in the Stone Parts 1 & 2
I'm sure you can take a guess about what's going to happen in this episode just by the title, and it is very emotional and quite incredible to watch. Although I said that I've cried at other episodes, I actually bawled at the end of this one...real tears streaming down my face. Fans also get something they've been waiting four seasons to happen, though I felt we got gypped with the shortest wedding in creation... In either case, it was a fantastic way to end the season and leave us wanting more.

Since season 5 currently has only one episode that has been shown, I can't really tell you which in the season will be my favorites. I'll keep you updated on that and will be adding videos to my season 5 playlist as they are uploaded.

And now for the treat! I am incredibly excited to be telling you that I am going to London for Eoin Macken's ColdCon2012! There I will be meeting with five actors from Merlin and will hopefully be able to get autographs for giveaways for you guys. I am also hoping to get a few minutes to speak with each of them so I can give you interview snippets as well. I will be taking tons of pictures and videos, and there will be lots of hugging (and kissing?). Right now the three confirmed Merlinians are:




I have my fingers and toes crossed that the other two special guests are Colin and Brad. Everything that Eoin has been saying is pointing toward them being there, and hopefully we will find out soon if our speculations have been correct. In the mean time I am working on getting VIP access and also volunteering to help out at the event. I'll keep everyone updated so you know what to expect on the blog. There will be a super long post (if not more than one) once I get back from the trip. Wish me luck!